Friday, June 27, 2008 *
And the reaction Jul and I got from here was.....
Hehehe... I think I better not say anything more here before I get myself murdered by this particular woman who is in Brunei now. Hehehe..
We WUVE you, Seryna!! *grins*
posted by Shano Jay
being random at
1:05 AM
Sunday, June 22, 2008 *
101 Reasons why women prefer cucumbers to Men
1. The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long.
2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3. Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count.
4. Cucumbers don't get too excited.
5. Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety.
6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7. You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket.... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9. With a cucumber you can get a single room.... and you won't have to check-in as Mrs. Cucumber.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. You can go to a movie with a cucumber.... and see the movie.
12. You can go to a drive-in with a cucumber.... and you can stay in the front seat.
13. With a cucumber you can always wait until you get home.
14. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.... or send you out for Milk Duds.
15. A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival.
16. A cucumber won't ask: "Am I the first?".
17. A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
19. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore.
20. With a cucumber you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
21. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
22. Cucumbers won't pout if you have a headache.
23. Cucumbers won't care what time of the month it is.
24. Cucumbers never want to get it on when your nails are wet.
25. Cucumbers won't give it up for Lent.
26. With a cucumber you never have to say you're sorry.
27. Afterwards, a cucumber won't: ...want to shake hands and be friends.
28. ...say, "I'll call you a cab".
29. ...tell you he's not the marrying kind.
30. ...tell you he is the marrying kind.
31. ...call his ex-wife or therapist.
32. ...take you to confession.
33. Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month.
34. Cucumbers won't make you go to the drugstore.
35. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
36. A cucumber a day keeps the OB-GYN away.
37. A cucumber won't work your crossword with ink.
38. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
39. With a cucumber you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the Flu season.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. A cucumber won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub.
46. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall.
47. Cucumbers don't have sex hangups.
48. Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on.
49. Cucumbers aren't into rope & leather, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits & nuts.
50. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
51. You can eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
52. Cucumbers never need a round of applause.
53. Cucumbers won't ask: "Am I the best? How was it? Did you come? How many times?"
54. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your Gynecologist, Ski Instructor, or Hair Dresser.
55. A cucumber won't want to join your sports group.
56. A cucumber never wants to improve your mind.
57. Cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations.
58. Cucumbers won't ask about your Last Lover.... or speculate about your next one.
59. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
60. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother is over.
61. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber.
62. Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow.
63. A cucumber won't give you a hickey.
64. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night.... and you won't have to sleep on the wet spot.
65. Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
66. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
67. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
68. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
69. Cucumbers don't compare you to a center fold.
70. Cucumbers don't count to 10.
71. Cucumbers don't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
72. A cucumber will never leave you ... ...for another woman.
73. ...for another man.
74. ...for another cucumber.
75. A cucumber will never call and say "I have to work late, Honey", and then come home smelling like another woman.
76. A cucumber never snaps your bra, pinches your butt, or gives you a snuggy.
77. You always know where a cucumber has been.
78. A cucumber never has to call "the wife".
79. Cucumbers never have mid-life crises.
80. A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
81. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
82. You won't find out later that your cucumber ... ...is married.
83. ...is on penicillin.
84. ...likes you - but loves your brother.
85. A cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move.
86. Cucumbers never tell you what they did on R&R.
87. A cucumber won't ask for a promotion just when you're up for a promotion.
88. Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
89. Cucumbers won't wear a leisure suit to your office Christmas party.
90. A cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve.
91. A cucumber won't take you to disco and dump you for a flashy outfit.
92. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
93. A cucumber doesn't care if you always spent the holidays with your family.
94. A cucumber won't ask to be put through Med School.
95. A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually.
96. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
97. Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy".
98. A cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised Catholic, Jewish, or Orthodox Vegetarian.
99. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
100. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything.
101. No matter how you slice it, you can have your cuke and eat it too.
I got this in my email and I was clearing it up when I found this. Hahaha! Crazy things these orang puteh come out with!
posted by Shano Jay
being random at
12:01 AM
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 *
Ok, u guys must be wondering why am I still talking about Ms. TEETH!!! Well, I overcame my Fear over TEETH!!! Ever since that last dream, I felt so Good!!!! My bulu roma no longer stands whenever Shanno or Serena mention the word GIGI! lol....
Anyway, I think ya'll heard about the song L.O.V.E by Nat King Cole. Well, I kinda modified the lyric into more kinda of R rated. hehehe I don't how I cna think of this but it just Pop in my head while I having dinner at Elephant. Ah, I think I know!!!! ELEPHANT!!!! hahahahahaha..... Imagine "Elephant" hahahaha... Anyways, here goes my version of L.O.V.E
L is for the way you Lust for me
O is for the very One you stalk
V is for the very, Various ways to look at me
E is for the Ecstasy spell that you gave me
LOVE!!!
hehhehehe
posted by JulieAnne
being random at
3:42 PM
Tuesday, June 17, 2008 *
French Kissing tips
This is a guide to basic kissing, i.e. you learn the basics and get the basics right, then experiment and try different styles and more advanced techniques.
The basics
1. Brush your teeth, get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the other person. There's nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage truck
2. Get into a comfortable position - you can't kiss if your back feels like it's gonna break. Suggestion - Sit side by side on a comfy sofa.
3. Hold your lover , firmly but gently - don't cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides.
4. Move your faces closer. Don't bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angle his face slightly so you don't bump noses.
5. Kiss gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood.
6. Continue kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.
7. If fine till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other person's lips.
8. Chances are from here, if the other person lightly parts her tongue, slowly explore the other person's tongue in a light licking motion.
9. The tongue has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue is the essence of french kissing.
10. After you've tried lightly licking the other person's tongue, you can try sucking on it, wrestling with it ( see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth ) and other things like that.
11. Explore the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick, or tickle the area with your tongue.
12. Don't bite. whatever you do, don't bite.
13. Don't swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don't drill your way through.
14. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your nose.
15. Follow so far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person. Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don't cause pain.
16. Continue kissing.
posted by Shano Jay
being random at
1:17 AM
Monday, June 16, 2008 *
(2) Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm.This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").
(8) Whatever:Is a women's way of saying F*cKYOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.
posted by Shano Jay
being random at
4:58 PM
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 *
Finally am back!!!!!!!! Been out and about. It's the holidays in Sarawak. We celebrated the feast of GAWAI!!! AGI IDUP AGI NGELABAN!
Anyway, didn't update for quite long cos was very depressed with things happened recently. My lovely cat of 6 years just passed away because of UTI. The doctor couldn't do anything about it. I didn't accept the death at first. Was kinda frustrated at God why HE took Sonny away. But now, since I'm kinda rational, I understood the reason. I'm happy he's in a Happy place now. :)
So, last 2 days, HOLIDAY in SEMATAN. I actually drove my KAncil to Sematan without servicing it even though, I was supposed to get that car serviced a week ago. Even the mechanic told me that the belting is not so good and the drive shaft is kinda spoil. Oy, daredevil me... But I tried limiting my speed to 80Km/h... Normally if i drive up-country, I would drive above 100km/h. hehehehe
Thank God the journey was fine. hehehe I had fun in SEMATAN. Love the beach. A crab actually chased my friend!!! HAHAHAHAHA.
posted by JulieAnne
being random at
12:09 AM
